An achingly compassionate and beautifully empathetic novel exploring the intersections of race, mental health, and the meaning of family—perfect for fans of Robin Benway’s Far from the Tree and Jas Hammonds’ We Deserve Monuments.
For Aaliyah Campbell, family is everything. Her cousin Ivy is her best friend and track co-star, and Grandpa Joe is her rock. He may be crotchety and dramatic, but he’s raised Aaliyah since she was a toddler. Still, Aaliyah can’t stop thinking about what’s missing—her parents.
When Aaliyah secretly contacts her mom, she risks upsetting the family who’s always been there. But Grandpa Joe refuses to explain why her parents gave her up, and without answers, Aaliyah cannot silence the anxious voice telling her she’s never been good enough.
Surprisingly, it isn’t Aaliyah’s mom, but her dad, Quincy, who steps up. Quincy turns out to be immature but surprisingly fun to hang out with. And when the rest of the family finds out they’re in contact, old secrets will finally be forced into the light.
Praise for If I Could Go Back
“A deeply emotional and complex novel that looks at how we define family.” —Kirkus, starred review
“Johnson’s young adult debut is rich with tight, complicated family bonds, with Aaliyah and Grandpa Joe’s relationship as the beating heart of the book.” —Booklist
“If I Could Go Back is a deeply complex look at family and all of the bittersweet joys that come with it. This book holds no punches while still managing to feel like a warm hug. I can’t recommend it enough.” –Jas Hammonds, award-winning author of We Deserve Monuments
“If I Could Go Back is a poignant deep-dive into the messy intricacies of family–how they twist us up and push us down and lift us back up again. A stunning debut.” –A.L. Graziadei, award-winning author of Icebreaker
Tender, powerful, and equal parts funny and poignant. This story of Aaliyah—a girl searching for belonging amidst abandonment—shines with hard-won hope. With remarkable writing and emotional depth, it explores the weight of generational wounds and the healing power of truth, love, and chosen family. A stunning exploration of what it means to bloom from broken roots.
—Jay Coles, critically acclaimed author of Tyler Johnson Was Here
A heartfelt debut about the uncertainty that goes hand-in-hand with growing up and moving forward. If I Could Go Back made me feel deeply for Aaliyah and gave me a stronger sense of compassion for both my teenage and present-day self.
—Ciera Burch, author of Out of Step, Into You
If I Could Go Back will make a home in readers’ hearts and minds for years to come. Briana Johnson captures with ease the delicate balancing act of choosing between yourself and your family. A relatable, realistic coming-of-age story with exceptional mental health representation.
—Cassandra Newbould, author of Things I’ll Never Say
