Johnny Marciano

How Did Humans Go Extinct?

Ten million years from now, dinosaurs are long forgotten—but the exhibits on humans are pretty cool.

One day many, many years from now, a young Nøørfbløøk child named Plib goes on a class trip to his favorite place—the Natural History Museum! Some kids love the exhibits on Outer Space. Others love the Evolution Room. Could Nøørfbløøks really have descended from frogs?

But Plib’s favorite displays are of human beings. Plib loves humans. All his favorite books and movies are about them, and he never goes anywhere without his trusted stuffy, Frank. He’ll never get to meet a human being, however, for one very simple reason: they went extinct ten million years ago!

HOW did humans go extinct?

Some of the theories Plib learns are silly, while others are sad; but all will allow the children of today to consider how their actions will affect the future. Johnny Marciano’s hilarious and timely story, brought to life by Paul Hoppe’s laugh-out-loud illustrations, provides a great vehicle for parents to discuss the environment, natural history, and global human behavior with their own curious Plibs.

Publisher

Black Sheep

Publication Date

October 19, 2021

Age Category

Picture Book

Genre

Science/Humor

Rights

Akashic

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat (#1)

Klawde had everything. Sharp claws. Fine fur. And, being the High Commander of the planet Lyttyrboks, an entire world of warlike cats at his command. But when he is stripped of his feline throne, he is sentenced to the worst possible punishment: exile to a small planet in a quiet corner of the universe… named Earth.

Raj had everything. A cool apartment in Brooklyn. Three friends who lived in his building. And pizza and comics within walking distance. But when his mom gets a job in Elba, Oregon, and he is forced to move, all of that changes. It’s now the beginning of summer, he has no friends, and because of his mother’s urgings, he has joined a nature camp.

It’s only when his doorbell rings and he meets a furball of a cat that Raj begins to think maybe his luck is turning around…

Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj and Klawde’s perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges as two fish out of water begin to find their footing in strange new worlds.

Praise for the Klawde series

“Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!” –Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series

“Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had.” –Max Brallier, author of the New York Times Best Seller The Last Kids on Earth

Publisher

Penguin Workshop

Publication Date

February 26, 2019

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Science Fiction/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Enemies (#2)

Klawde and Raj are back! As summer turns to fall, our favorite warlord cat remains in his pitiful exiled existence. But Raj has an even scarier prospect than cosmic exile: starting at a new school.

And if things didn’t seem complicated enough, both cat and human are confronted with two figures from their past they did not expect to pop up in Elba, Oregon…

Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj’s and Klawde’s perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges as two fish out of water continue to find their footing in strange new worlds.

Praise for the Klawde series

“Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!” –Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series

“Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had.” –Max Brallier, author of the New York Times Best Seller The Last Kids on Earth

Publisher

Penguin Workshop

Publication Date

February 26, 2019

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Science Fiction/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: The Spacedog Cometh (#3)

In book three of this hysterical series, Klawde faces a challenger he never imagined: a dog, who has arrived on Earth to settle the intergalactic score. He’s hyper, he’s loyal, he’s an all-around-good boy, and he’s here to bring Klawde to justice. Can our ferocious feline evade the long paw of the law?

Raj, on the other hand, is faced with his own out-of-town visitor who, although from Earth, may prove to be even more formidable: his grandmother. When she plans a birthday party Raj doesn’t want, will he survive the embarrassment?

Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj’s and Klawde’s perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges between a boy and the evil cat who arrived on his doorstep.

Praise for the Klawde series

“Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!” –Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series

“Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had.” –Max Brallier, author of the New York Times Best Seller The Last Kids on Earth

Publisher

Penguin Workshop

Publication Date

October 8, 2019

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Science Fiction/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Target: Earth (#4)

In book four of the Klawde series, our favorite warlord cat turns his malevolent gaze to the one target he never thought he’d consider: Earth. But conquering a world is a challenge, even for Klawde, and he’ll need two things for his plan to succeed: an army of zombie squirrels, and, of course, money. Lots of money. And he has a plan to get it.

Meanwhile, as his evil pet plots world domination, Raj is also trying to make some extra cash. He’s dying for a cool virtual-reality headset and is determined to get his yard-cleaning business off the ground to pay for it. But when a friendly neighbor catches wind of Klawde’s plan, Raj and Klawde’s stories collide, and Raj may end up paying for his cat’s schemes…

Will Klawde’s thirst for power finally be quenched? Can Raj bear the responsibility of a small business? And why are all the squirrels acting strange…?

Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj’s and Klawde’s perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges between a boy and the evil cat who arrived on his doorstep.

Praise for the Klawde series

“Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!” –Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series

“Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had.” –Max Brallier, author of the New York Times Best Seller The Last Kids on Earth

Publisher

Penguin Workshop

Publication Date

June 2, 2020

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Science Fiction/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Emperor of the Universe (#5)

Publisher

Penguin Workshop

Publication Date

October 20, 2020

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Science Fiction/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Revenge of the Kitten Queen (#6)

In book six of the Klawde series our feline warlord has begun his reign as Emperor of the Universe! His headquarters? The litterbox command center in the Banerjee family basement. But be careful what you wish for–as Klawde finds out, even the lord of all living matter has to follow the rules, even if they’re designed to squelch evil dreams. What’s more, plots to otherthrow him are rampant, and Klawde needs allies. Who can he turn to? Barx and the space rangers of the Dog Star Galaxy? (Hairball.) Ffangg and the other Allied Warlords of Evil? (Double hairball.) Or–least appealing of all–the Calico Queen, his former earthcat protege and current ruler Lyttyrboks? Meanwhile, Raj is trying to survive in an even more perilous group of enemies and allies: the students and parents of the Elba Middle School Newspaper Club.

Heavily illustrated, with a hilarious, biting voice that switches between Raj’s and Klawde’s perspectives, this is the story of an unlikely friendship that emerges between a boy and the evil cat who arrived on his doorstep.

Praise for the Klawde series

“Applaud for KLAWDE. Two paws up!” –Dav Pilkey, creator of the Dog Man series

“Funny, savage, and brilliant, Klawde is the pet I wish I had.” –Max Brallier, author of the New York Times Best Seller The Last Kids on Earth

Publisher

Penguin Workshop

Publication Date

August 31, 2021

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Science Fiction/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Mischief Season (The Witches of Benevento #1)

Welcome to Benevento, an ancient town famous for its witches!

The children of Benevento have to be careful and clever to evade the clutches of such witches as the Manalonga, the Janara, and the Clopper, who hide in wells and under bridges, fly at midnight, and play tricks during Mischief Season.

Five cousins —Primo, Emilio, Rosa, Maria Beppina, and Sergio— share adventures and narrow escapes, and discover astonishing secrets as they outwit the witches in each exciting story.

The Janara are wrecking the farm with their nightly mischiefs. Father blames Rosa for everything that goes wrong, and it’s up to the Twins and their friends to find a way to stop the Janara. Will some mysterious advice from an unexpected source be the solution to their problems?

Praise for The Witches of Benevento series

“Loosely based on folklore and decorated with Blackall’s two-color drawings of elfin figures in country dress on nearly every page, the comical tale kicks off a projected series set in the picturesque town.” –Kirkus

“Magical spells and amusing characters with distinctive personalities, coupled with an engaging story with a twist, will captivate readers and leave them clamoring for future stories centered on the other cousins.” –School Library Journal

“An old-world atmosphere and prickly sibling rivalry make the book read like a classic fairy tale, while an undercurrent of mystery paves the way for future books.” –Publishers Weekly

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

April 12, 2016

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Historical Fiction

Rights

Penguin

The All-Powerful Ring (The Witches of Benevento #2)

Wanting to stop the springtime mischiefs—and overcome his own fear of Manalonga—Primo seeks an advantage. He finds one when he discovers a mysterious ring in the belly of a fish. Is the ring just a pretty trinket or is it magic?

Praise for The Witches of Benevento series

“Loosely based on folklore and decorated with Blackall’s two-color drawings of elfin figures in country dress on nearly every page, the comical tale kicks off a projected series set in the picturesque town.” –Kirkus

“Magical spells and amusing characters with distinctive personalities, coupled with an engaging story with a twist, will captivate readers and leave them clamoring for future stories centered on the other cousins.” –School Library Journal

“An old-world atmosphere and prickly sibling rivalry make the book read like a classic fairy tale, while an undercurrent of mystery paves the way for future books.” –Publishers Weekly

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

April 12, 2016

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Historical Fiction

Rights

Penguin

Beware the Clopper! (The Witches of Benevento #3)

Maria Beppina, the timid tag-along cousin, is always afraid that the Clopper, the old witch who chases the children, will catch her. And then one day she decides to stop—just stop—and see what the Clopper will do.

Praise for The Witches of Benevento series

“Loosely based on folklore and decorated with Blackall’s two-color drawings of elfin figures in country dress on nearly every page, the comical tale kicks off a projected series set in the picturesque town.” –Kirkus

“Magical spells and amusing characters with distinctive personalities, coupled with an engaging story with a twist, will captivate readers and leave them clamoring for future stories centered on the other cousins.” –School Library Journal

“An old-world atmosphere and prickly sibling rivalry make the book read like a classic fairy tale, while an undercurrent of mystery paves the way for future books.” –Publishers Weekly

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

September 6, 2016

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Historical Fiction

Rights

Penguin

Respect Your Ghosts (The Witches of Benevento #4)

It’s Sergio’s job to take care of Bis Bis, the ancestor spirit who lives upstairs. Unfortunately, it’s hard to satisfy all the ghost’s demands and still keep Sergio’s mother happy.

Praise for The Witches of Benevento series

“Loosely based on folklore and decorated with Blackall’s two-color drawings of elfin figures in country dress on nearly every page, the comical tale kicks off a projected series set in the picturesque town.” –Kirkus

“Magical spells and amusing characters with distinctive personalities, coupled with an engaging story with a twist, will captivate readers and leave them clamoring for future stories centered on the other cousins.” –School Library Journal

“An old-world atmosphere and prickly sibling rivalry make the book read like a classic fairy tale, while an undercurrent of mystery paves the way for future books.” –Publishers Weekly

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

April 25, 2017

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Historical Fiction

Rights

Penguin

Runaway Rosa (The Witches of Benevento #5)

The Benevento children are excitedly preparing for the annual Boar Hunt, where the prize of the Golden Tusk is given to the ten-year old who catches the boar. No girl has ever competed, but Rosa is determined to take part — and win! She refuses to stay home and help take care of the new baby and cook and clean. She will just have to run away.

Life was very different in Benevento of the 1800s, and John Marciano’s clever story and Sophie Blackall’s charming illustrations bring the town, its people, and its past to vivid life.

Praise for The Witches of Benevento series

“Loosely based on folklore and decorated with Blackall’s two-color drawings of elfin figures in country dress on nearly every page, the comical tale kicks off a projected series set in the picturesque town.” –Kirkus

“Magical spells and amusing characters with distinctive personalities, coupled with an engaging story with a twist, will captivate readers and leave them clamoring for future stories centered on the other cousins.” –School Library Journal

“An old-world atmosphere and prickly sibling rivalry make the book read like a classic fairy tale, while an undercurrent of mystery paves the way for future books.” –Publishers Weekly

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

August 21, 2018

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Historical Fiction

Rights

Penguin

The Secret Janara (The Witches of Benevento #6)

Primo has been given a tantalizing clue about the secret Janara: the Janara lives with him! How can he discover who it is? Only that success will console him for his humiliating defeat at the boar hunt, where Rosa was the winner. Rosa!! Girls are not even supposed to compete.

One night Primo finds a clue. Behind the head of the goddess Diana, the ancient statue in his kitchen, he discovers a bottle of the oil that a Janara needs to transform him or herself before flying off for a night of mischiefs. If he can stay awake one night, surely the Janara will be revealed. But what will he do with the knowledge?

The Benevento children continue to encounter and outwit witches in the sixth and most suspenseful adventure yet of the Witches of Benevento series.

Praise for The Witches of Benevento series

“Loosely based on folklore and decorated with Blackall’s two-color drawings of elfin figures in country dress on nearly every page, the comical tale kicks off a projected series set in the picturesque town.” –Kirkus

“Magical spells and amusing characters with distinctive personalities, coupled with an engaging story with a twist, will captivate readers and leave them clamoring for future stories centered on the other cousins.” –School Library Journal

“An old-world atmosphere and prickly sibling rivalry make the book read like a classic fairy tale, while an undercurrent of mystery paves the way for future books.” –Publishers Weekly

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

May 28, 2019

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Historical Fantasy

Rights

Penguin

The No-Good Nine

They’re mad, they’re bad, and they’re about to ruin Christmas!

No kids get coal in their stocking these days. Do you know why? It’s thanks to The No-Good Nine!
Pittsburgh, 1931. When Peter awakens on Christmas morning to find his stocking full of coal, he is outraged. After he finds the Naughty List, which contains the names of some other children who received no gifts, he decides they should band together and journey to Santa’s workshop to plead their case, as well as play with the toys intended for the Nice children. The ragtag band of misfits sets out on a series of wild misadventures as they travel by train, truck, dog sled, and boat, encountering thieves and bootleggers, in order to reach the renowned Toy Factory only to accidentally burn it down. More slapstick capers follow before the No-Good Nine extricate themselves and set out to find their next great adventure.

Praise for The No-Good Nine

“A tongue-in-cheek romp with currently topical overtones.” –Kirkus

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

October 16, 2018

Age Category

Middle Grade

Genre

Fantasy/Adventure

Rights

Penguin

Whatever Happened to the Metric System?: How America Kept Its Feet

The system of measurement for most of the world is the metric system, and for a time in the 1970s the United States appeared ready to switch from American standard measurement. The reasons it never happened get to the root of who we think we are, just as American measurements are woven into the ways we think. John Marciano chronicles the origins of measurement systems, the kaleidoscopic array of standards throughout Europe and the thirteen American colonies, the combination of intellect and circumstance that resulted in the metric system’s creation in France in the wake of the French Revolution, and America’s stubborn adherence to the hybrid United States Customary System ever since. As much as Whatever Happened to the Metric System? is a tale of quarters and tenths, it is a human drama, replete with great inventors, visionary presidents, obsessive activists, and science-loving technocrats.

Anyone who reads this inquisitive, engaging story will never read Robert Frost’s line “miles to go before I sleep” or eat a foot-long sub again without wondering, Whatever happened to the metric system?

Praise for Whatever Happened to the Metric System?

“Whatever Happened to the Metric System? is about much more than just the metric system. It’s an indispensable guide for understanding our world’s centuries-long process of inching toward standardization.” –Wall Street Journal

“National and international politics, treaties, wars —all play a role in seeing the full picture of the development of a system of measurements used by the vast majority of the world’s countries. Marciano knits these seemingly disparate threads into a rich narrative.” –NY Journal of Books

“A lively perspective on globalism as it relates to currency and systems of measurement.” –Kirkus

Publisher

Bloomsbury

Publication Date

August 5, 2014

Age Category

Adult

Genre

Nonfiction

Rights

JGLM

The Nine Lives of Alexander Baddenfield

Alexander Baddenfield is a horrible boy—a really horrible boy—who is the last in a long line of lying, thieving scoundrels. One day, Alexander has an astonishing idea. Why not transplant the nine lives from his cat into himself? Suddenly, Alexander has lives to spare, and goes about using them up, attempting the most outrageous feats he can imagine. Only when his lives start running out, and he is left with only one just like everyone else, does he realize how reckless he has been.

With its wickedly funny story and equally clever illustrations, this is dark humor at its most delicious.

Praise for The Nine Lives of Alexander Baddenfield

“Deliciously wicked.” –Booklist

“The amusing, if macabre, premise is abetted by Blackall’s slightly creepy gray and black-toned illustrations, in which hourglasses, the Grim Reaper, and funeral ribbons are recurring motifs. It’s great to see Marciano enlarging his scope and good fun to see him partnered with Blackall.” –School Library Journal

Publisher

Viking Books for Young Readers

Publication Date

October 3, 2013

Age Category

Chapter Book

Genre

Fantasy/Humor

Rights

Penguin

Toponymity: An Atlas of Words

It’s no secret that America’s cookouts owe a lot to the exports of the European towns of Frankfurt and Hamburg, but we may not realize how much we’ve taken from two others: Budweis and Pilsen. Likewise, we know who to thank for Panama hats and Bermuda shorts. But did you know that Tuxedo Park, New York, brought Americans a staple of formal wear? Or that the Bikini Atoll gave us something dramatically less formal? In this ingenious follow-up to the popular Anonyponymous, John Bemelmans Marciano brings us a new, geographical, way of thinking about words. This book takes us on a lively tour of American, European, and world history, revealing our linguistic heritage in all its richness and—to use another toponym—serendipity. Illustrated with maps drawn in Marciano’s witty style, this book is consistently smart, entertaining, and enlightening. It makes a perfect gift for language lovers, whether they come from Cologne, Germany, or the Canary Islands.

Praise for Toponymity

“Here’s your chance to travel the world without leaving the comfort of your recliner. No map required. Instead, pick up John Bemelmans Marciano’s latest book Toponymity: An Atlas of Words and get ready to set sail through America’s and Europe’s linguistic history.” –Portland Book Review

Publisher

Bloomsbury

Publication Date

October 26, 2010

Age Category

Adult

Genre

Nonfiction

Rights

JGLM

Anonyponymous: The Forgotten People Behind Everyday Words

An encyclopedia of linguistic biographies: the witty, illustrated stories of the Earl of Sandwich, Charles Boycott, and other historical figures better known as words than people.

Eponymous, adj. Giving one’s name to a person, place, or thing.

Anonymous, adj. Anonymous.

Anonyponymous, adj. Anonymous and eponymous.

The Earl of Sandwich, fond of salted beef and paired slices of toast, found a novel way to eat them all together. Etienne de Silhouette, a former French finance minister, was so notoriously cheap that his name became a byword for chintzy practices―such as substituting a darkened outline for a proper painted portrait. Both bequeathed their names to the language, but neither man is remembered.

In this clever and funny book, John Bemelmans Marciano illuminates the lives of these anonyponymous persons. A kind of encyclopedia of linguistic biographies, the book is arranged alphabetically, giving the stories of everyone from Abu “algorithm” Al-Khwarizmi to Count Ferdinand von Zeppelin. Along with them you’ll find the likes of Harry Shrapnel, Joseph-Ignace Guillotine, and many other people whose vernacular legacies have long outlived their memory.

Accented by amusing line portraits and short etymological essays on subjects like “superhero eponyms,” Anonyponymous is both a compendium of trivia and a window into the fascinating world of etymology. Carefully curated and unfailingly witty, this book is both a fantastic gift for language lovers and a true pleasure to read.

Publisher

Bloomsbury

Publication Date

October 27, 2009

Age Category

Adult

Genre

Nonfiction

Rights

JGLM

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How Did Humans Go Extinct?

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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat (#1)

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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Enemies (#2)

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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: The Spacedog Cometh (#3)

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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Target: Earth (#4)

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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Emperor of the Universe (#5)

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Klawde: Evil Alien Warlord Cat: Revenge of the Kitten Queen (#6)

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Mischief Season (The Witches of Benevento #1)

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The All-Powerful Ring (The Witches of Benevento #2)

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Beware the Clopper! (The Witches of Benevento #3)

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Respect Your Ghosts (The Witches of Benevento #4)

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Runaway Rosa (The Witches of Benevento #5)

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The Secret Janara (The Witches of Benevento #6)

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